Lust and temperance

I feel like this lust is what is causing my anxiety. I feel death to my spirit if I do not drink of it's gradification. The anxiety makes me physically feel ill. The anxiety causes impatients because I so desperately want the anxiety to go away.

Jealousy occurs when someone else is getting the affection that I used to get. My desire tells me the easiest way to appease the jealousy is to obtain affection elsewhere. Jealousy is rooted in pride and pride says that I deserve affection and I must have it because other people have it. Pride says we must have some of this wonderful affection.

Temperance is the armour as to not partake in lustful activities but it doesn't stop the origination of the feelings from within. Temperance will not last if the source is not dealt with.

When I have affection I do not find myself being insecure about the affection leaving. This is a matter of my own experience. Some people are used to the affection leaving and are very insecure. Usually when security turns to insecurity is when the worst of my anxiety hits me. The emotionally unintelligent situations I've found myself getting into is when this happens. It's usually an emotional problem of the other person that causes them to take their affection away.

On one hand, what I need to do is find an emotionally intelligent and mature partner who has enough temperance and security not to run off and seek their needed affection elsewhere.

On the other hand, I also need to be temperate myself until I find this person as to avoid getting hurt again. This person needs to satisfy me intellectually, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. What happens is I often get lured in when a percentage of these are satisfied. I figure that some of these things can be worked out after the fact, but the truth is that hasn't been the case for me. Sometimes it's taken me years to realize.

My word of wisdom is don't get emotionally involved with someone unless they satisfy you with these four basic qualities. If you find yourself attracted to someone who can meet these but doesn't yet, just encourage them and don't get emotionally involved, be temperant and restrain yourself. In the mean time, don't close the door to other opportunity waiting for someone to change and don't try to fix them. Just be a source of encouragement and good times.

Don't be jealousy because their are plenty of people out there that can be your source of affection. One person at time is the only honest way to be.

There is no shame in being still looking for the right person.

Please people add your thoughts.